its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
