margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
