You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize