Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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