There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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