Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she looked like the before picture.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This is the high leading the old right now
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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