just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
