like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
