clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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