she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
me + whiskey = a bad person
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
