yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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