i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
