I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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