if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
