Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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