How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
