Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
