hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
