ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
