The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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