He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
