ugly people sure do ruin things
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
