hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
