Will you blow on my dice?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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