He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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