How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
