her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
