Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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