Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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