My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
