That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
