Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize