Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
