He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
