Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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