false alarm. still invincible.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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