Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
