we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize