so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
