Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
