maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wish you could order shots online.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
