He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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