The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
