do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize