5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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