the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
