somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
