Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
