its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
