She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize