She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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