Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
