last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
