good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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