just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my shit smells like andre
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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