just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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