Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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