I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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