what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
