Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
