You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize